I thought the threesome could use a little drinking game to dispel any awkward moments. My biggest worry: what will everyone wear?
Game on:

1. Every time Gates and Obama reference something Crowley doesn’t understand Crowley has to drink then take a lap around the picnic table in handcuffs.

2. Every time Gates says something Crowley interprets as arrogant Gates has to drink then watch an episode of NYC Prep.

3. Every time Obama says, “teachable moment” he has to shotgun his Budweiser then burp out Palin’s resignation speech.

4. Every time Crowley says, “Beer me” Gates has to drink then shake his head and mutter, “fatuous cracker.”

5. I’m assuming that during the picnic “Fuck the Police” will be playing on the sound system. If such is the case, every time the song says, “Police” everyone has to drink while dancing in imitation of Obama on the Ellen show.

6. Every time Gates says that he doesn’t imbibe he has to sip from a 40 ounce with his pinky in the air then re-rap N.W.A in a grammatically correct fashion, e.g,
Comin straight from the underground/Coming straight from the underground
Fuck that shit, cuz I ain’t tha one/Fuck that shit because I am not the one
To be beatin on, and throwin in jail/To be beating on and throwing in jail

7. Every time Crowley and Gates say, “That’s not what happened and you know it, bitch,” they have to take three shots of Patron then reenact exactly what happened with Gates playing the role of Crowley and vice versa. Malia and Michelle will be allowed to watch, but not Sasha or the Grandmother.

8. If Michelle looks at her watch or says, “I think it’s time to wrap things up,” Obama has to drink then hold up the handcuffs.

9. Every time Crowley tries to text or speak into his walkie talkie he has to drink then suffer a beat down because the number one rule of Beer Summit is you do not talk about Beer Summit.

10. YOUR SUGGESTION?

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