FIVERS: FLASH FICTION FOR THE PHONE Edited by Andrew Foster Altschul
Here are five very short stories you can read in a flash! Featuring stories by:
Lemony Snicket, Anna North, Kaui Hart Hemmings, Joshua Furst, Andrew Foster Altschul
A little bit about the stories:
Lemony Snicket’s “Something You Ought to Know,” is a tale about the man who watches [...]

This article is from today’s Star Bulletin. I’m leaving out the picture because it could quite possibly be the worst picture ever taken of me in the history of my life and this includes zitty teen years, passed-out-in-college beer shots, and stoned-with-high school paddling team-eating-leftovers-from-dad’s-political-fundraiser pics. Girls, remember that killer low mein?
The article:
No [...]

Kevin of Always Home and Uncool has asked me to post this as part of his effort to raise awareness in the blogosphere of juvenile myositis, a rare autoimmune disease his daughter was diagnosed with on this day seven years ago. The day also happens to be his wife’s birthday.
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Our pediatrician admitted it [...]

A book and food pairing:
I’m betting that This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper will make my best reads of 09′ list, if such a list were to exist, which it probably will because 1. I love making lists 2. Lists give the world order and 3. You don’t need to compose [...]

“What Book Got You Hooked?” invites readers to share books from childhood that got them whipped. In return, they’ll provide 50,000 new books to the state with the most entries. I love this campaign, and am so excited that my state, Hawaii, is in the lead! Take that, illiteracy! With [...]

Masha Hamilton’s novel, 31 HOURS, hits stands today. I thought I’d let her speak for herself about her book’s themes and concerns.
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Take it away, Ms. Hamilton…
Parenting the Nearly-Grownby Masha Hamilton
“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is [...]

“It’s labor Day,” I say. “I was in labor with you. Today is my day.”“As opposed to…” my husband says.We’ve all been sick all weekend, sick and pathetic, quarantined in our house like lepers. Andy painted the bathroom awhile ago; it peeled, and he’s been sanding it down all weekend so he [...]

I have a friend named Stephen Elliott. I recently read his memoir and unbeknownst to me he does porn and was addicted to adderall. I knew he was all into S&M and was at one point addicted to heroin, but the porn thing came as a shocker as well as the speed–hello! [...]

A picture of my daughter drawn by Stephanie at Stephanie’s Comic a Day

Hawaii’s taking such a sober approach to commemorating statehood. No parades and fireworks! No hula shows or festivals! I understand that from an economic stand point. Can’t lay off a grip of state employees then shoot off aerial repeaters and Catherine Wheels. And I’ve never liked parades or people who like [...]

From The Honolulu Advertiser:
Hawaii lands film based on Isle novelKama’aina author pleased; work on ‘Descendants’ will begin early next year
By Greg WilesAdvertiser Staff Writer
Alexander Payne, the director of “Sideways,” is to start filming Kaui Hart Hemmings’ “The Descendants in Hawai’i by early 2010, in what’s said to be a significant boost for the state’s film [...]

L Magazine’s Annual Summer Fiction Issue is out. I’m such a fan of Ron Carlson and I’m honored that my story is in his company…
Click to read Repossession Man

On Friday my grandmother was in the Honolulu Advertiser in an article about vintage Hawaiian fashions. She stands in front of Mount Olomana at her Maunawili home and the caption reads: Eleanor Pence, 96, models her silk statehood mu’umu’u.
Coincidence: I happen to be in Friday’s paper as well, in an article about people [...]

I thought the threesome could use a little drinking game to dispel any awkward moments. My biggest worry: what will everyone wear?Game on:
1. Every time Gates and Obama reference something Crowley doesn’t understand Crowley has to drink then take a lap around the picnic table in handcuffs.
2. Every time Gates says something Crowley interprets [...]

Twitter just wasn’t the right medium for my numerous claims.
1. Went to McVie’s house (of Fleetwood Mac.) He had my book and thought it impressive that I wrote one. I said, “Yeah, the whole band thing you did was impressive, too.”
2. Met Tom Selleck at Outrigger Canoe Club. He knew my mom [...]

Lauren Conrad is a best-selling author.Should I:1. Pour Bailey’s into my coffee and call it a day?2. Buy over-sized sunglasses and text madly?3. Get a new job? Like, a pig hunter? or an activist? Or, I’ve always wanted to work with the retarded4. Try to trophywifeasize myself?5. Stuff my bra with mangoes and call [...]

My review of “Trouble” by Kate Christensen was in Sunday’s New York Times. It’s a tough thing, I think, to critique another author, especially when your review isn’t particularly favorable, but then again review, discussion, scrutiny–it’s all a part of writing, reading and loving books. I encourage everyone to read ‘Trouble’ [...]

Some fine ladies from Kappa Kappa Gamma book club took me to lunch yesterday. I love going to book clubs–the fact that you’re not up at a podium–you’re sitting amongst people slurping on egg drop soup and such–makes people ask normal questions. When you’re at a reading they typically ask questions to make [...]

When I was twelve-years-old my friends and I used to have car washes to raise money for beer, but if customers asked we’d say it was for sodas or for children with leprosy or whatever. We ran a pretty tight ship. Only one customer sticks out this entire time. He was an [...]

Conde Nast’s July issue is all about Hawaii. It’s a great insider’s guide, pointing out the usual popular spots as well as those off the grid. They’ve asked “famous” locals with Hawaii connections their favorite places/things to do. I use quotes around famous because I’m in it, too, and if I had [...]

Export Yourself That’s So Punk RockThirteen Ways of Looking at a VaginaHappy Father’s Day, BeavisWeekend in VignettesWhy Can’t Men Say, “Ow”

I had some fun nights out this week, celebrating Andy’s return. He was working on a trial on Maui for eight weeks and has yet to sleep in our new house for a week straight. Went to Kalapawai one night. This place is my frenemy. I have had some good meals [...]