I behaved at Andy’s work party. There was a game where we had to guess what items were in various stockings and I was so polite and dignified that when I fondled one of the stockings I held myself back from guessing, “ball sack?” even though I swear it was.

Speaking of ball sacks, I have a question for the balloon man from the children’s Christmas party at Oahu Country Club. My questions is, “Just what the fah is this supposed to be?”

We set our table this way to make us feel better about eating a cow, a pig’s butt, and giving the kids cake soaked in brandy.

I have an entire dissertation outlining the reasons why this is not my favorite present given to my daughter. Point #1: The gown is not Monique L’huilliere.

Jingle Jingle mo’ fo’s

Christmas Morning

Mele Kalikimaka!

That’s all