I recently wrote about my dislike for one of my daughter’s friends and how I felt bad about it. Well, not anymore! Turns out that a lot of you parents are just as bad as I am. When kids hit, one mom explains to her son it’s because “They’re stupid.” Another mom reassures me my feelings are natural and that she doesn’t want the little “demon-spawn” around her any more than absolutely necessary.
Parents were even judgmental about other children’s looks, which was highly comforting to me.A dad told me about a kid at his child’s daycare: “There’s a kid who must be going on four and has a head the size of a pumpkin. He’s dwarflike but not actually a dwarf, in fact not short at all, so there’s none of the warmth and understanding you might feel toward an actual dwarf. Please don’t put that in your blog.” It’s so sad, but true! We’re naturally put-off by less attractive, slow kids, and yet our reactions toward them as opposed to their smarter and cuter counterparts, probably makes them even less attractive and slow. It’s a vicious cycle, and speaking of vicious cycles I am once again feeling badly about my inherently mean-girl nature. And so I’m going to try again. Here’s my public service announcement for the day: Go ahead and smile at an ugly child. Play chicken and don’t swerve–just keep looking and smiling. Perhaps ruffle his hair. Then, find that dumb kid who points at things and grunts or keeps pushing the square block into the circular hole and tell him how clever he is! Maybe our positive and warm attitudes will make them less funny looking and dense.
Let’s make that change.